My thoughts... they're gone.
My head... is empty.
My mind.... is clear.
Am I tired? Am i stupid? Am I done?
Have I reached some state of 'zen', which disables me from thinking about anything whatsoever?
My days are boring and filled with trivial activities, that I could easily do without. I could stare at a wall for over an hour, and waste the same amount of time that I normally do looking at internet sites. Neither of those require any effort on my part, seen as my brain just stops working as soon as I plug in my laptop. Even writing this is nothing more than a time-filler for me, as I cannot concentrate on my economics, and I needed to find something to distract me.
There are two extremes (in my eyes). On one side, there are people with rich lifes. After a day of school, they do sports, work or practise some form of art. In the weekends, they go out and enjoy themselves. They're hardly ever bored and always seem to find something to do. On the other side, there's me; the laziest bastard I can think off. A life that consists out of relaxation, procrastination and power naps can only be labelled 'poor'.
I need to do something, but that's where the lack of motivation comes in. It used to be so much easier. "Hey Daniel, you have to go to your gymnastics training", "Daniel, it's time for you to go to work" and "Daniel, we're going to play soccer outside, come with us". I just followed instructions. Now, I'm supposed to make the instructions. I don't know if I can. I hope I'll learn.
17-02-2011
13-02-2011
Thank you, you sneaky bastard
During a few of my more recent guitar lessons, my teach has apparently whipped out his new audio recorder, and has taped several parts of my lessons. I didn't know that untill he handed me a cd with three songs on it, played and sung by me. I reacted a little surprised (obviously), but accepted the cd, since I saw it as an opportunity to improve whatever I played on this cd.
There were three songs. The first was a little melody I thought up myself, but it's very easy and not even remotely challenging, so I still have to work on that a lot. The second one is the song 'skin and bones', which I didn't finish playing, since I forgot the lyrics halfway through. If I had known I would be recorded, I would've studied the lyrics beforehand, but oh well. The song is at the bottom of this entry, for anyone who cares (and yes i do know what I sound like, so please don't critisize me if it isn't 'constructive'). The third song is actually my favourite. It's 'chasing cars' and I actually liked the way I sounded while doing that. The only problem with it (which is also the reason that I won't put it up here) is that my teach decided to adjust the volume of his recorder an annoying amount of times, throughout the whole song. That pretty much ruined it for me.
So what can I do with these recordings?
I'll listen to them a lot, hoping that I can spot exactly what parts I have to improve on. Also, the recording of my own little melody will help me think of new elements to put in the song (along with other instruments). I'm just not sure that I'm disciplined enough to put all that work into it though. Oh well, we'll see.
05-02-2011
lyrical wordsmith.... not
I feel like I have enough to say, but every time I write it down, it looks like shit to me. The other day I was once again inspired by a song to write some of my own lyrics to it. It was '93 till infinity' by the Souls of Mischief. I wanted to write more, but when I looked back at what I had already written down, I just gave up...
Anyway, here are the lyrics (just one verse though, and it's probably not a good idea to read it if you're not into hip hop at all).
Anyway, here are the lyrics (just one verse though, and it's probably not a good idea to read it if you're not into hip hop at all).
A new path is made
I’m weighing my options
I’m not getting paid
I remain very cautious
I don’t want to lose
The little that I have
And I simply refuse
To leave without a laugh
That means a smile on my face
As I walk out the door
Even though I know my place
I know that I deserve more
That’s for me to find out
And for you to decide.
I don’t need support,
I’m motivated by my pride.
I got that hunger inside
To go places beyond my reach
I tell ‘em they can succeed
And I practise what I preach.
I am the student and the teach.
That means I learn from myself
And in time that’ll teach me
To enlarge my wealth
You just take your time
To discover who I am
I’ll just chill for a while
Which has always been my plan
Never worked hard
I’m as spoiled as a prince
Was born in 93
Been chillin’ ever since.
It’s a lifestyle
That I must prolong
Cause every other way of living just
Feels so wrong
Best homies in the world
Poker nights and all
Pouring out our liquor
Afterwards we ball
Man I have it all,
And yet I want more
The big things in life
Are what I adore
And stressing over lil things
Over my dead body
Gonna kick it with me crew
Like we doing karate
That's all folks...
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