'Mr Nice Guy'

How do I treat others?

I never really gave this any thought. I feel like this is something that is easier to answer by someone who isn’t me. Of course I try to be nice, but I don’t know how my behaviour is perceived by others. Generally, I like seeing people smile, so when in conversation, I try to make them laugh. Sometimes I use jokes, other times I use light insults. Therefore, I do not know if I am seen as a nice and funny guy or a complete asshole. Both are possibilities, but I am pretty sure I’m liked by my friends, and by my close social environment.

My close family (so just in Holland) consists of my parents and my father’s parents. We’re a close family, and we don’t really ever argue (except if somebody can’t find the remote control or something like that). I treat my grandparents with the respect they deserve, with them being 86 years old and having lived a full life. I treat my parents with less though. I guess that’s mainly because I am a teenager and I always think I know best. I do realise that I don’t know better than these people who’ve had more life experience than me, but sometimes I can’t help feeling that way. I’m still a kind and civilized child though. No mood swings and no threatening disobedience.

I only see my distant relatives once in every three years, so whenever I get the chance to see them I make sure they know I appreciate them and love them. What makes that easier is that my family in America is a big black family. They make sure that I feel welcome as soon as I step in the door. I also have relatives in England. They’re also black, but in a British way. By that, I mean that there is no hip hop music, basketball or Kool-Aid involved. Even though that might seem like a stereotype, it does apply to my American cousins. I treat my English family with a certain formality (their accent makes me do that).

Old people (like my grandparents) deserve respect, so whenever I see old people walking in my neighbourhood, I make it a point to give them a smile and a nod, instead of the mean look that some kids have on their faces these days. Sometimes I stop for a second, and just have a normal conversation (there’s no reason for ignoring them). I’m quite uncomfortable around small children. That’s partially because they look at me with that bizarre ‘who are you?’ look. It’s also because I know that my mother is crazy about little kids, and I have to resist the urge to act like her, because I know it looks ridiculous (degrading baby-talk, exaggerated smile, touching faces, etc.). So basically, I keep my distance when it comes to small children.

So basically, the way I treat others is not far from the way I want to be treated myself. I want to be treated with respect, kindness and I want people to make me laugh. I’m not positive that I’m doing all of this myself, but I hope that it’s clear that I make an effort (how little that effort may be).